This Kid Makes Me Feel Like A Jacknut
Monday, May 12, 2008 by The Film Geek
“Who ya gonna vote for?” my wife asked over the weekend. I shrugged it off by mumbling something-or-other, and then went back to my nap. I was tired, you see, from all the comic book reading I’d done earlier that morning.
“Did you see this story about the kid selling his bike to raise funds for Hillary?” she asked, with what sounded like mother-ish approval.
I wiped the drool from my chin, and asked “Hillary who?” My nap was looking like history.
“It’s a great story, about a kid from Williamson, WV, who sold his bike to raise money for Hillary Clinton’s presidential bid.” She started to read to me from the paper. I stopped her.
“Why would a kid do that–sell his damn bike–for a person he didn’t know?” I started to ponder if I wasn’t really still asleep and just having a surreal dream.
There was a long, long pause before she answered.
“Because he cared.”
I wasn’t able to go back to sleep.
Sucker.
I’m anxiously waiting to see if the Duct Tape Bandit has anything to say about the man in today’s Daily Mail police briefs who was arrested for trying to steal pork chops (pork chop bandit?).
I bet Hillary (or Bill) set him up to do that.
The pork chop guy isn’t another meat-in-the-pants story is it?
Lee, indeed it is. Drunken meat in the pants at that. Apparently the guy wasn’t a Jane’s Addiction fan to know about fake pregnancy bellies for grocery store raids.
BB: I’m sorry I didn’t get to the meat in the pants, guy. I’ve just been swamped, and I forgot.
Stupid ass kids from Williamson.